The Day Just Gets Crappier and Crappier

So we went to mom’s this afternoon and here’s the scoop.

My mom has been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and will be starting radiation therapy on this coming Wednesday. I’m pissed. I’m pissed at the cancer, I’m pissed that I have no way to save my husband or my mom, I’m just plain pissed. And freaked out. I’m scared I can’t support them both (not physically, I’m talking emotionally)?? I’m only one person.

My mom is one of those people who rarely gets sick, and now at not quite 66 years old, she gets slammed with this?? The biopsy they did on the inside of her cheek has made her face so swollen she can’t wear her dentures, which makes her upper lip lopsided and she’s terribly self-conscious of it. She’s the type of person that if you don’t have a mom, or you and your mom don’t have the greatest relationship or if you just want another mom figure in your life, she’s your gal. Seriously, she’s just simply the best, there’s absolutely NOTHING anyone can say about her that’s negative. Nothing. So this is her karma???

As for me, I know I should be grateful as I may be fat but I’m healthy. But how long before I break trying to stay emotionally stable?? The only saving grace right now is that I have school to distract me from all the negativity that’s occurring.

Check this out, since September 2008 -

• My husband was diagnosed with a terminal cancer.
• I lost my job after 25 years due to a company reorganization and responsibilities being outsourced to India.
• I started school to earn a diploma as a Medical Office Assistant.
• I’ve supported my husband as best I can as he goes through his cancer treatment with as many smiles on my face as is humanly possible without screaming that I’m a hypocrite and that really? I hate this, you f*****g cancer.
• My mom has been diagnosed with cancer.

Crap. Time to go cry or scream.

Not a Great Day in Paradise

Last week we found out the hubster’s cancer treatment is no longer working, so this coming Wednesday we’re going to meet with the oncologist to start a new one. We’re extremely disappointed as it was working so well for so long.

Also last week my mom had a biopsy done of the inside of her cheek. She was  recently diagnosed with cellulitis in her right cheek and they tried to take a fluid sample from her face but they weren’t successful. So on Friday they put her under took a piece from her cheek to biopsy it. I haven’t talked to her since because she and her husband said they would call when she was feeling up to it. Apparently, there is bad news because her husband called and is asking us kids and significant others to come over today to talk about the diagnosis.

I’m not into organized religion but I do believe a higher power exists so I’ll be sending up my own prayers – if anyone else can include us, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I’ll update the blog as soon as I know something new.

Keep Your Eye On The Prize

Sorry, I’m not referring to a contest. I’m referring to a friend of mine who is going to officer’s training for the next three months. She told me that no matter how hard it gets you just have to keep your eye on the prize. Who is she? Well, she is Sharon. Sharon and I were pals for a secret pal swap a number of years ago, she sent me the coolest knitting stuff, yarn, supplies and even a tiny stuffed llama that sits on my dresser still today. Anyway, while she was here in the Twin Cities this past week before heading off to training, she and I spent some time together.

Can you say “another strawberry margarita, please”? I had never had a fresh strawberry margarita before, only the kind with the mix. Never again!! She knows how to make them and she showed me how. We spent about an hour and a half on the back patio area chatting and knitting and drinking until we agreed we should start the grill. So we ate some grilled salsa marinated chicken breasts (marinated in my own salsa, thank you very much) and some pasta salad along with another margarita (not to worry, she wasn’t driving – her boyfriend, Alan, dropped her off and was going to come back to pick her up later in the evening, bless his heart). Before I forget to mention this, she brought me a present! All the way from Brooklyn (see pictures below). The yarn is absolutely beautiful and I’m going to make a scarf/shawl out of it called Ishbel.  Sharon made the same one and I just have to make it with this yarn, the muted tones will be perfect for the pattern. She had hers with her and I can tell you straight up -it’s gorgeous! You know, I totally didn’t expect a gift but funny enough I had been trying to come up with something myself to give her but I never came up with a good idea. So instead I fed her. She seemed pleased so I’ll give myself a gold star. Anyway, we shared stories and had a super time. Then Alan came to pick her up and I was left the remainder of the pitcher of margaritas. Which I didn’t drink. I think.

I met Sharon, live and in person, for the first time last fall when she and Alan and their adorable little Bean came here. The hubster and I and the three of them met up for lunch (Alan has contacts in the restaurant biz so we had an incredible lunch and really great seating at the restaurant, he’s also a band member in the James Apollo band). The Bean, being only a few months old, slept soundly throughout which I thought amazing as the the place was rather loud. I remember thinking when I met Sharon that day that she was so petite (grrrr…) and how in the world did she have that gorgeous little big ball of a baby?

Okay, I need to sign off. My other unemployed friends are coming over for lunch tomorrow (we get together about every two weeks), I’m serving turkey pesto burgers and veggie kabobs, B is bringing wine, D is bringing dessert and K is bringing her lovely self. I need to get some things tidied up before going to bed.

As promised, here is the yarny goodness from Brooklyn! Specifically, from the Brooklyn General Store. Details below. The picture of the cake shows a better representation of the colorway than the picture of the skein, the skein appears to be much bluer than it is, it’s definitely purple. I can’t wait to get started on this. Thank you, Sharon, for a lovely gift and the gift of your time. I know how limited it was while you were here so I truly appreciate it.