The Day Just Gets Crappier and Crappier

So we went to mom’s this afternoon and here’s the scoop.

My mom has been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and will be starting radiation therapy on this coming Wednesday. I’m pissed. I’m pissed at the cancer, I’m pissed that I have no way to save my husband or my mom, I’m just plain pissed. And freaked out. I’m scared I can’t support them both (not physically, I’m talking emotionally)?? I’m only one person.

My mom is one of those people who rarely gets sick, and now at not quite 66 years old, she gets slammed with this?? The biopsy they did on the inside of her cheek has made her face so swollen she can’t wear her dentures, which makes her upper lip lopsided and she’s terribly self-conscious of it. She’s the type of person that if you don’t have a mom, or you and your mom don’t have the greatest relationship or if you just want another mom figure in your life, she’s your gal. Seriously, she’s just simply the best, there’s absolutely NOTHING anyone can say about her that’s negative. Nothing. So this is her karma???

As for me, I know I should be grateful as I may be fat but I’m healthy. But how long before I break trying to stay emotionally stable?? The only saving grace right now is that I have school to distract me from all the negativity that’s occurring.

Check this out, since September 2008 -

• My husband was diagnosed with a terminal cancer.
• I lost my job after 25 years due to a company reorganization and responsibilities being outsourced to India.
• I started school to earn a diploma as a Medical Office Assistant.
• I’ve supported my husband as best I can as he goes through his cancer treatment with as many smiles on my face as is humanly possible without screaming that I’m a hypocrite and that really? I hate this, you f*****g cancer.
• My mom has been diagnosed with cancer.

Crap. Time to go cry or scream.