Midwest Knit Girl

The Day Just Gets Crappier and Crappier

Posted on: June 21, 2009

So we went to mom’s this afternoon and here’s the scoop.

My mom has been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and will be starting radiation therapy on this coming Wednesday. I’m pissed. I’m pissed at the cancer, I’m pissed that I have no way to save my husband or my mom, I’m just plain pissed. And freaked out. I’m scared I can’t support them both (not physically, I’m talking emotionally)?? I’m only one person.

My mom is one of those people who rarely gets sick, and now at not quite 66 years old, she gets slammed with this?? The biopsy they did on the inside of her cheek has made her face so swollen she can’t wear her dentures, which makes her upper lip lopsided and she’s terribly self-conscious of it. She’s the type of person that if you don’t have a mom, or you and your mom don’t have the greatest relationship or if you just want another mom figure in your life, she’s your gal. Seriously, she’s just simply the best, there’s absolutely NOTHING anyone can say about her that’s negative. Nothing. So this is her karma???

As for me, I know I should be grateful as I may be fat but I’m healthy. But how long before I break trying to stay emotionally stable?? The only saving grace right now is that I have school to distract me from all the negativity that’s occurring.

Check this out, since September 2008 –

  • My husband was diagnosed with a terminal cancer.
  • I lost my job after 25 years due to a company reorganization and responsibilities being outsourced to India.
  • I started school to earn a diploma as a Medical Office Assistant.
  • I’ve supported my husband as best I can as he goes through his cancer treatment with as many smiles on my face as is humanly possible without screaming that I’m a hypocrite and that really? I hate this, you f*****g cancer.
  • My mom has been diagnosed with cancer.

Crap. Time to go cry or scream.


9 Responses to "The Day Just Gets Crappier and Crappier"

oh hun my heart goes out to you. I am so very sorry for everything you are going through right now. I know haven’t been around for awhile but I am always an email away. I will send you my number through facebook.


I hate this, you f*****g cancer! Scream it out, and I will scream with you. It’s all I can offer, except my prayers, which you already have. I wish it were more.

FUCK! You have been hit more more tough stuff to handle than anyone I know. You are an amzing person and you’ll get through this as well. It sucks. Go scream and cry cause you need to do that. Sending hugs.

My mother had cancer five years ago so I have an inkling of what you are going through. I was in high school when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. It will be five years next week since her diagnosis and it is so tough. It was horrible watching her go through chemo and radiation and feeling powerless to help.

I wish I could offer more than just my prayers and understanding. Cancer really sucks. My grandfather and every one of his siblings died of it; my mother and her sister both have it. It is an absolute blight. Please take heart in knowing that lots of people care that you are going through such a tough time and I am sure that both your husband and mother are grateful for your caring.

So sorry to hear you were hit with more bad news. My thoughts are with all of you.

I know exactly where you are girl. We found out this week (in addition to P’s tribulations) that mum’s breast cancer has spread again, this time to her liver. I’ll join you in screaming, and if you want to rant by email, you know where I am.

Love and hugs to you all.


Oh Patty.
So sad. So sorry for you and for your family.
So so so wrong in so many ways.
And I ask again (with no answer in sight)..
“How can this be happening to good people?”
Thinking of you

Oh, Patty, HUGE hugs for you.
My heart goes out to you and your family. Sorry I’m late getting this news. This sucks, sucks, sucks. Sometimes, shit just hits the fan over, and over…and over again.
I will be back in Mnpls on 9 Sept. I say you and I have a date with some yarn, a grill, and more tequila.

Hi Patty, I’m thinking of you!!

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